Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Minutes to the 01/06/2007 MDS Meeting

The great White Whale, having been sufficiently slayed, skinned, eaten (sometimes raw) and turned into oil – at no little expense and time lost to the intrepid crew – has been finally cast off as a useless skeleton, not good for even the smallest brush handle or bit of decorative scrimshaw. Gone indeed, and forever more, is his threat, and all who care to send appropriate thoughts of gratitude and compensation to the MDS is encouraged to do so. All such gifts are tax-deductible.

Except, not really. Though the request for gifts remains true.

Having briefly set its sights on “The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles”, the MDS lost track of this elusive, post-modern beast and instead set its sights on an American work. Naturally, William Faulkner’s “The Unvanquished” presented itself, like so much a sick whale. Maybe it will be full of priceless ambergris? There was but one way to find out.

Returning to its favoured hunting grounds at The Charleston, the MDS was somewhat dismayed to see the full effects of Global Warming – while the Ice Cave had disappeared in the past season, it was hoped that it would return, along with the cold temperatures and icy winds of wintertime Chicago. Alas! Instead of blue-gray icicles and streamers, there could only be found walls of red. A deep, blood-red suggesting that any valuable kills had already been undertaken, and the opportunity for further enlightenment therefore gone.

But no! The Charleston was simply in the midst of a ‘Red Christmas’ celebration, complete with mis-transliterated lettering from the Cyrillic alphabet, ample red Christmas lights and an abundance of aluminum foil covering any bare surface (chiefly among such surfaces were the ceiling fans and the suspended swordfish). Undeterred, and perhaps even enlivened, the MDS got down to work, approaching and dissecting their newest target. Or, rather, talking about such gruesome work, in addition to the expected talk of Hollywood celebrities and childhood fads.

IN ATTENDANCE
Liz (presiding), Dan (secretarying), Maggie (remindifying), Vanessa (making her in-person debut), Brian and Erin

RESOLUTIONS
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that the next meeting shall be on 01/27/06 at a time yet to be determined, and the reading assignment is to read through chapter 4;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that Matt is sanctioned for unspecified reasons;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that Ruth shall be welcomed as a new member into the Moby Dick Society;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that Whet shall be installed as Cultural Consultant, a position that he may, at his choice, entertain completely and entirely in absentia;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that the Commencifier shall provide, from afar in DC, and elsewhere as she continues her travels, a pre-recorded, YouTube-friendly video clip of her commencifying address for each meeting;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that the Remindifier receive a FUCKING GOLD STAR for actually completing the assigned reading;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that there shall be a MDS-sponsored outing to see “Pan’s Labyrinth in an upcoming weekend (discussion of The Unvanquished shall not be undertaken).

EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT, AND YET IT STILL FEELS LIKE HOME
(in the absence of the officially recognized Secretary, Erin, with assistance from the Remindifier, attempted to take suitable minutes – the following reflects a reconstruction of the events preceding the Secretary’s arrival based on notes from Erin, as written on small bits of paper with atrocious handwriting)
- The second, 2K7 season of the MDS kicks off with a pretty meager, and yet still motley, crew of adventurers;
- Chief among the missing are Matt, Dan, Brian, Whet, Jenny, Lisa and Irina;
- While some have well-established excuses, some do not – the sordid Secretary among them;
- Theories are floated to explain the Secretary’s absence: 1. He was distracted by a pretty building, 2. CTA proved disastrously slow & 3. He didn’t read the book; in the end, he was slowed only by the allure of taking a nap;
- Brian’s absence is also questioned; what a coincidence it was, then, that Brian and the Secretary should convene upon the same Damen Avenue bus and head to the MDS meeting together;
- Cameron Diaz has bad skin, an observation resulting in the discussion of said actress’ recent movie, “The Holiday”, and that she is therefore, for some reason, a bad actress; so bad, in fact, that the President wishes to break her over her knees while wearing shoes [I am unable to determine who should be wearing the shoes in this equation] and still so bad that Vanessa is driven to tears;
- Kate Winslett is apparently a beautiful She-Goddess
- Renee Zellweger is an orange on a toothpick;
- “Wind-Up Bird Chronicles”!
- Recent events pertaining to the development of a certain member’s black eye are recounted (and indeed, what a black eye said member did have) – while the Earth itself did tremble with said member’s fall, friendships were re-affirmed and Mr. Manhattan’s were roundly cursed;
- Vanessa reveals that she has purchased the book on the installment plan, and has but two chapters available of the whole shebang;
- The unofficial MDS hair-stylist, Lianne, is discussed and while many things are quickly agreed upon, Maggie reveals that there is very little she would do for a mere $50;
- The Secretary’s nature is discussed, resulting in his description as a “monster”;
- Quiznos are fucks and cannot make decent sandwiches, while the Biograph theatre uses margarine, not real butter – take note;
- At long last, the text is hand is discussed – Faulkner enjoys the idea that secrets are buried, as evidenced by the beginning of book, wherein characters attempt to unearth something;
- The Bible makes an appearance, as the story of Cain & Abel is evoked, as well as Genesis and even Exodus, too;
- Is John Sartoris Ringo’s father??!!! – Maury Povich should be consulted;
- Faulkner demands more than just a confession from his characters, but the appropriate actions after the fact, demonstrating real remorse and/or penance;
- Faulkner’s attempts to confuse the reader with different perspectives, generally unreliable, at that, and timeframes;
- While reading the book is difficult, it’s about the journey, not the destination;
- Little else is covered, except to point out that Jude Law is batty, “The Holiday” really does suck ass, and that Lite Brite was the toy for kids who had no friends.
- The meeting was then ADJOURNED at 7:38 PM, whereupon discussions pertaining to dinner were undertaken, off the record.


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