Put Your Almanacs Away
Firstly, a belated merry christmas to all. All, of course, could be but me, and maybe a handful of others. Just the same, this is the holiday season, and good wishes are sort of part and parcel to this time.
That being said, I just read an AP story that spoke of a recent FBI warning. Basically, unless you want the FBI to ruin your otherwise festive festivities, put away your alamanc. The FBI issued a warning to police organizations to keep a look-out for people that carry almanacs. Almanacs, people. To quote from the article (in case you're too lazy to read the damn thing that I even included the link for, you ungrateful bastards):
The FBI said information typically found in almanacs that could be useful for terrorists includes profiles of cities and states and information about waterways, bridges, dams, reservoirs, tunnels, buildings and landmarks. It said this information is often accompanied by photographs and maps.
The FBI urged police to report such discoveries to the local U.S. Joint Terrorism Task Force.
I mean, really. Really. Has it come to this? Do you think that the government may try and coerce almanac publishers into editing their books now? Yes, in the name of patriotism the government necessarily must intervene with the publishing world or some such crap? Is that the in they've been waiting for? Why not keep an eye out for people who read Tom Clancy novels? That dude has some great ideas as to how to be a terrorist. From crashing a plane into Congress during the State of the Union, to spreading a virus via trade shows and conventions, this dude has some ideas. Granted, his plan for China to invade southeastern Russia is a little bit far-fetched, but you know, why not? I think it makes more sense to be suspicious of someone holding a dog-eared copy of The Sum of All Fear than one of Poor Richard's Almanac.
Do you even underline the title of an almanac? I mean, it's a book. Sort of. Hmnn... if anyone knows, please correct me.
So the new year will begin in a matter of days. Wahoo. I already have some resolutions, too. And ones i can keep! One is to get my Illinois ID card. My Maryland ID card has expired, and besides, I don't really live there anymore. You might be asking, why not get an Illinois license? Well, in case you weren't aware, I don't know how to drive. Which is a second resolution: to learn to drive. What I like about both of these resolutions, is that they're not ongoing. They're finite, discreet, etc. They are easily achiveable goals. I mean, why make a goal for myself that I can't meet? No sense in that is there?
Another resolution - I know, I'm up to three so far; I'm getting pretty cocky, aren't I? - is to start to floss every day. Or at least during the week (I'll take weekends off, because, you know, what are weekends for if not for not flossing?). Lofty? Maybe, but proper dental care is important. Particularly when you don't have dental insurance. But yeah, flossing, Sunday through Thursday nights. My gums will bleed, and I'll get annoyed, but I'll be damned if I don't do my best to prevent gingivitis now.
I was talking to Kyle last night, and he said that there's no better way to bring in the new year than to stay up to see that first sunrise on January 1. Way back when, for my Halloween party, I had a half-hearted idea to stay up until that sunrise, too. Didn't do it. But I think that this holiday will be different. I want to stay up, to welcome the new year with that first sunrise. I imagine that so long as I pace myself drinking-wise and supplement the bubbly I've bought with coffee and Red Bull, I can do it. Mind you, the sun rises at about 7 am, which is typically when I wake up during the week. So, I will be trying to stay awake until I generally wake-up from sleeping. That puts it in perspective for me a little, but I won't give up so easily. Not at all. I may be dead to the world come Thursday, but that's why I took Friday off from work.
To backtrack to Christmas, I had a lovely time. While I was stuck in Florida - a state which, I have decided, decidedly "blows" - and while my grandmother is depressed and supplements her oxycontin with wine every night, and while my mother is depressed and somewhat deluded over, well, everything, that only makes it more special. And meaningful, in its own way. No, it won't make sense, I think, unless you are a McCormick. A McCormick that's in my family, that is, since there are quite a few McCormicks, and I doubt most of them would give a damn, let alone an understanding one. But yeah, the holidays with the McCormicks. We didn't have any emotional, tear-filled break-downs this year, which is certainly good, but leaves the whole experience a little bit lacking. Maybe next year.
One of my favorite things about going to Florida for Christmas is the inevitable trip to the Lobster Shanty. We go, naturally, at about 5 or 5:30 so that we can make the Early Bird special, too. Imagine, please, the Early Bird special at the Lobster Shanty in Florida. It is just as it sounds - a touch heart-warming as well as heart-breaking. Words just can't really describe it.
Don't get me wrong, it's quite good. Or at least, not bad. I went with the prime rib this year, served with an au jus sauce and a horseradish sauce. I had my choice of chowder (Manhattan or New England clam) or salad bar, a side of baked potato, sweet potato, steamed (steamed?!) vegetables of the day, or rice, and then desert, too, which could have been chocolate or rum raisin ice cream, rice or tapioca pudding, rainbow sherbert or strawberry frozen yogurt. I went the salad bar, sweet potato, and then I passed on desert, for those of you keeping score. You know, what I should have done, too, was order a gimlet, or a manhattan with dinner. No, I know - a Tom Collins. That would have been perfect. It would have potentially been too hipster, but you know, once you sit down for the Early Bird at the Lobster Shanty, there's just no going back. Next time, I'll know. Next time, I'll go with the Tom Collins. Then maybe I'll get my tear-fest that I've come to expect around Christmas.
Look for some drunken blog entry sometime in the wee hours of Jan. 1. Hell, if I'm going to stay up until 7 am, I gotta have something to do to keep myself occupied.
-dan
email me
Firstly, a belated merry christmas to all. All, of course, could be but me, and maybe a handful of others. Just the same, this is the holiday season, and good wishes are sort of part and parcel to this time.
That being said, I just read an AP story that spoke of a recent FBI warning. Basically, unless you want the FBI to ruin your otherwise festive festivities, put away your alamanc. The FBI issued a warning to police organizations to keep a look-out for people that carry almanacs. Almanacs, people. To quote from the article (in case you're too lazy to read the damn thing that I even included the link for, you ungrateful bastards):
The FBI said information typically found in almanacs that could be useful for terrorists includes profiles of cities and states and information about waterways, bridges, dams, reservoirs, tunnels, buildings and landmarks. It said this information is often accompanied by photographs and maps.
The FBI urged police to report such discoveries to the local U.S. Joint Terrorism Task Force.
I mean, really. Really. Has it come to this? Do you think that the government may try and coerce almanac publishers into editing their books now? Yes, in the name of patriotism the government necessarily must intervene with the publishing world or some such crap? Is that the in they've been waiting for? Why not keep an eye out for people who read Tom Clancy novels? That dude has some great ideas as to how to be a terrorist. From crashing a plane into Congress during the State of the Union, to spreading a virus via trade shows and conventions, this dude has some ideas. Granted, his plan for China to invade southeastern Russia is a little bit far-fetched, but you know, why not? I think it makes more sense to be suspicious of someone holding a dog-eared copy of The Sum of All Fear than one of Poor Richard's Almanac.
Do you even underline the title of an almanac? I mean, it's a book. Sort of. Hmnn... if anyone knows, please correct me.
So the new year will begin in a matter of days. Wahoo. I already have some resolutions, too. And ones i can keep! One is to get my Illinois ID card. My Maryland ID card has expired, and besides, I don't really live there anymore. You might be asking, why not get an Illinois license? Well, in case you weren't aware, I don't know how to drive. Which is a second resolution: to learn to drive. What I like about both of these resolutions, is that they're not ongoing. They're finite, discreet, etc. They are easily achiveable goals. I mean, why make a goal for myself that I can't meet? No sense in that is there?
Another resolution - I know, I'm up to three so far; I'm getting pretty cocky, aren't I? - is to start to floss every day. Or at least during the week (I'll take weekends off, because, you know, what are weekends for if not for not flossing?). Lofty? Maybe, but proper dental care is important. Particularly when you don't have dental insurance. But yeah, flossing, Sunday through Thursday nights. My gums will bleed, and I'll get annoyed, but I'll be damned if I don't do my best to prevent gingivitis now.
I was talking to Kyle last night, and he said that there's no better way to bring in the new year than to stay up to see that first sunrise on January 1. Way back when, for my Halloween party, I had a half-hearted idea to stay up until that sunrise, too. Didn't do it. But I think that this holiday will be different. I want to stay up, to welcome the new year with that first sunrise. I imagine that so long as I pace myself drinking-wise and supplement the bubbly I've bought with coffee and Red Bull, I can do it. Mind you, the sun rises at about 7 am, which is typically when I wake up during the week. So, I will be trying to stay awake until I generally wake-up from sleeping. That puts it in perspective for me a little, but I won't give up so easily. Not at all. I may be dead to the world come Thursday, but that's why I took Friday off from work.
To backtrack to Christmas, I had a lovely time. While I was stuck in Florida - a state which, I have decided, decidedly "blows" - and while my grandmother is depressed and supplements her oxycontin with wine every night, and while my mother is depressed and somewhat deluded over, well, everything, that only makes it more special. And meaningful, in its own way. No, it won't make sense, I think, unless you are a McCormick. A McCormick that's in my family, that is, since there are quite a few McCormicks, and I doubt most of them would give a damn, let alone an understanding one. But yeah, the holidays with the McCormicks. We didn't have any emotional, tear-filled break-downs this year, which is certainly good, but leaves the whole experience a little bit lacking. Maybe next year.
One of my favorite things about going to Florida for Christmas is the inevitable trip to the Lobster Shanty. We go, naturally, at about 5 or 5:30 so that we can make the Early Bird special, too. Imagine, please, the Early Bird special at the Lobster Shanty in Florida. It is just as it sounds - a touch heart-warming as well as heart-breaking. Words just can't really describe it.
Don't get me wrong, it's quite good. Or at least, not bad. I went with the prime rib this year, served with an au jus sauce and a horseradish sauce. I had my choice of chowder (Manhattan or New England clam) or salad bar, a side of baked potato, sweet potato, steamed (steamed?!) vegetables of the day, or rice, and then desert, too, which could have been chocolate or rum raisin ice cream, rice or tapioca pudding, rainbow sherbert or strawberry frozen yogurt. I went the salad bar, sweet potato, and then I passed on desert, for those of you keeping score. You know, what I should have done, too, was order a gimlet, or a manhattan with dinner. No, I know - a Tom Collins. That would have been perfect. It would have potentially been too hipster, but you know, once you sit down for the Early Bird at the Lobster Shanty, there's just no going back. Next time, I'll know. Next time, I'll go with the Tom Collins. Then maybe I'll get my tear-fest that I've come to expect around Christmas.
Look for some drunken blog entry sometime in the wee hours of Jan. 1. Hell, if I'm going to stay up until 7 am, I gotta have something to do to keep myself occupied.
-dan
email me
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