I wanna be like Birdman!
Not so long ago, I found this. It's an automatic jar opener. Now, this picture is without an accompanying jar, so you don't really get a good sense of how ginormous it is. But trust me, it's rather large. Especially considering what it does. I mean, all it does is open jars. Does it really need to be so big?
Apparently yes, yes it does.
So Kyle said that this device is, potentially, the height of opulence and decadence. I will grant that there are people out there who have a hard time opening jars, sure. And so for them, this would go a long way with their jar-opening needs. That being said, though, I think there are other ways of going about getting your jars opened. And that don't retail for $50.00.
But I'm not really here to defend or demonize pointless kitchen gadgets (oops, didn't mean to editorialize). Rather, I'm here to show off some things that are, I think, far more decadent and opulent.
Who watches Cartoon Network, particularly their Adult Swim Sunday night block? So, there's this guy, Harvey Birdman. He's Birdman, from the 70's, only now, he's an attorney. It's a funny show. In it, he argues the law as well as drives a fly muscle car. I don't know why Birdman, who has wings would need a car, but whatever. I have often said to myself, "Self, if only you knew how to drive, imagine what it would be like to drive your own 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner, just like your hero, Harvey Birdman". I really do say that, too. Every night, before I go to bed.
Well in roughly 12 weeks, this dream could become a reality. Click here and see for yourself. That's right, you can buy your own 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner with the appropriate Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law themed decals and paint job, and drive around in a yellow muscle car. Just like Harvey Birdman. This, I say, is more decadent than the automatic jar opener.
Kyle's point, though, is that at least this is useful. It is a car, and one with a pretty mean engine (not to mention an accompanying CD collection). And cars even without an accompanying CD collection are pretty damn useful. But, the cost to use ratio is totally skewed with this: Birdman's car will cost you $70,000. At least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you'll be the only one with an officially licensed Harvey Birdman car (they're promising to make but one car).
This car, as I seem to figure, is part of the Cartoon Network's Ultimate Wish List. Their idea is that if you're going to wish for something, you might as well wish big. Other big wishes include Space Ghost's desk & chair, which includes a pop-up flat screen monitor, mini-frdige, and 8 massage motor's in the chair. This one will only run you $40,000. Do you want your bedroom to look like Dexter's Laboratory? Now you can, for a cool $100,000. Alternatively, for the little girl in you, there's the Powerpuff Girl's bedroom, too.
But I think what takes the cake in this product line is this. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a tree house. For one million dollars. Granted, it's a 4 story tree house, with indoor plumbing, cable and satellite, a plane room, a boat room, a game room, and even a visitor's lounge-type area. There are beds, couches, flat-screen televisions, etc etc. In a hand-built, one-of-a-kind (again, there will be but one) 4-story treehouse. Hell, they even build a fake tree to put the fucker on. For one million dollars.
Again, I understand that this has a very solid use-value. People could live in this. But what kind of investment is it, really? Does it really lose in a decadence race with the automatic jar opener?
Don't get me wrong, if I had the money and space, I'd buy this in an instant. Who wouldn't? It's the coolest tree house that you never could imagine growing up. Whenever I would idly design the Ultimate Treehouse, it was but a pale shadow of this one. Hell, I'd kill for the Space Ghost Desk & Chair. But this is all besides the point.
I will steer clear of discussing whatever socio-economic meaning that this Ultimate Wish List may carry (at least for now). I will say, though, that these items, by and large, are the epitome of decadence, the automatic jar opener be damned, and I aim but to educate.
-dan
PS - In case anyone was looking to get me a nice Christmas present, by all means, shop on this list, and ditch my Amazon wish list.
email me
Not so long ago, I found this. It's an automatic jar opener. Now, this picture is without an accompanying jar, so you don't really get a good sense of how ginormous it is. But trust me, it's rather large. Especially considering what it does. I mean, all it does is open jars. Does it really need to be so big?
Apparently yes, yes it does.
So Kyle said that this device is, potentially, the height of opulence and decadence. I will grant that there are people out there who have a hard time opening jars, sure. And so for them, this would go a long way with their jar-opening needs. That being said, though, I think there are other ways of going about getting your jars opened. And that don't retail for $50.00.
But I'm not really here to defend or demonize pointless kitchen gadgets (oops, didn't mean to editorialize). Rather, I'm here to show off some things that are, I think, far more decadent and opulent.
Who watches Cartoon Network, particularly their Adult Swim Sunday night block? So, there's this guy, Harvey Birdman. He's Birdman, from the 70's, only now, he's an attorney. It's a funny show. In it, he argues the law as well as drives a fly muscle car. I don't know why Birdman, who has wings would need a car, but whatever. I have often said to myself, "Self, if only you knew how to drive, imagine what it would be like to drive your own 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner, just like your hero, Harvey Birdman". I really do say that, too. Every night, before I go to bed.
Well in roughly 12 weeks, this dream could become a reality. Click here and see for yourself. That's right, you can buy your own 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner with the appropriate Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law themed decals and paint job, and drive around in a yellow muscle car. Just like Harvey Birdman. This, I say, is more decadent than the automatic jar opener.
Kyle's point, though, is that at least this is useful. It is a car, and one with a pretty mean engine (not to mention an accompanying CD collection). And cars even without an accompanying CD collection are pretty damn useful. But, the cost to use ratio is totally skewed with this: Birdman's car will cost you $70,000. At least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you'll be the only one with an officially licensed Harvey Birdman car (they're promising to make but one car).
This car, as I seem to figure, is part of the Cartoon Network's Ultimate Wish List. Their idea is that if you're going to wish for something, you might as well wish big. Other big wishes include Space Ghost's desk & chair, which includes a pop-up flat screen monitor, mini-frdige, and 8 massage motor's in the chair. This one will only run you $40,000. Do you want your bedroom to look like Dexter's Laboratory? Now you can, for a cool $100,000. Alternatively, for the little girl in you, there's the Powerpuff Girl's bedroom, too.
But I think what takes the cake in this product line is this. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a tree house. For one million dollars. Granted, it's a 4 story tree house, with indoor plumbing, cable and satellite, a plane room, a boat room, a game room, and even a visitor's lounge-type area. There are beds, couches, flat-screen televisions, etc etc. In a hand-built, one-of-a-kind (again, there will be but one) 4-story treehouse. Hell, they even build a fake tree to put the fucker on. For one million dollars.
Again, I understand that this has a very solid use-value. People could live in this. But what kind of investment is it, really? Does it really lose in a decadence race with the automatic jar opener?
Don't get me wrong, if I had the money and space, I'd buy this in an instant. Who wouldn't? It's the coolest tree house that you never could imagine growing up. Whenever I would idly design the Ultimate Treehouse, it was but a pale shadow of this one. Hell, I'd kill for the Space Ghost Desk & Chair. But this is all besides the point.
I will steer clear of discussing whatever socio-economic meaning that this Ultimate Wish List may carry (at least for now). I will say, though, that these items, by and large, are the epitome of decadence, the automatic jar opener be damned, and I aim but to educate.
-dan
PS - In case anyone was looking to get me a nice Christmas present, by all means, shop on this list, and ditch my Amazon wish list.
email me
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