So it's come to this...
I have two caveats to start of with. Well, three, I guess, though two are kind of related.
1. I am bored. Booooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeddddddddddddddd. Out of my fuckin' mind. Just because it's Friday don't mean a damn thing to me, since I am - say it with me now - bored. Jeezy chreezy.
2. I am ill. Or, rather, just getting over being ill. Which means I am still slightly ill, just not ill enough to prevent me from blabbing all up and down the internet.
3. I am tired. See, this is related to #2. As my body has been fighting the good fight, it was become worn down and tired. So my fatigue is, really, a by-product of my sickness. But you know, it's still a force to be reckoned with, so I'll include it as a seperate caveat.
Okay, so keeping all of this in mind, I will not go into excrutiating detail over my office holiday party that was last Friday night. This will be dull.
This was my first holiday party at an office. And you know, I sure did choose a good place to start off with. Remember, for the weekly happy hours that my office hosts, they go all out. And so for the once-a-year holiday party? They found even more stops to pull out. No, wait, that doesn't make much sense. I'm just trying to say the J&B went even more all out for their holiday party. Which means that for the happy hours, they don't really go all out at all, do they? This is all besides the point.
So we had 5 floors of food, music and entertainment. While the 40th floor was home to Elvis (and I mean the impersonator, not just the theming), I found the food there to be less than stellar. Besides, the bar on that floor ran out of both Jack Danieles and Coke, leaving me to drink, instead, a Jim Bean and Pepsi. That is hardly the same thing, I'll have you know. Maybe if it hadn't been my second drink, I wouldn't have noticed, but it was, and so I did. Notice it, that is.
Now, the Parisian floor was nice, in that they had a giant raw bar and some duck appetizer. however, it was way too crowded. The fact that the waiters there had berets on did little to assuage the difficulty of going up to the bar and ordering a drink.
I'll say now that I skipped the North Pole on the 47th floor - that was for kids only, after all. Of course, as a by-product, I missed out on the Hannukah room, as well, which again, I'm not explicitly allowed to enjoy since I'm not of the Chosen Ones, but still, i can play tourist.
So then there was the Asian floor on 44. Great decorations, sure, and a dearth of people made it seem okay. But they had only sushi, which I'm not such a fan of. And the music was coming from a tiny little boom box on someone's desk, and consisted of crap muzak like you would hear while waiting in line at Epcot Center. In the end, no thank you, yet again.
So with 4 floors down, and at best a luke-warm response, did Dan have a good time? Indeed I did, and I can tell you why - the 37th floor.
37 was the Greek floor. They had tasty greek-themed appetizers, and a charming duo of a guitarist and keyboardist. They, too, played crap, Disney-esque music, but they were at least playing it live. I think, in fact, that they played the same thing the entire night, but you know, by the time we got down there, I was a bit tipsy and so my mind wasn't quite the clearest.
That brings me to the other reason why 37 was great - the bartender. So, while each floor had a bar, not ever bar was staffed equally. To wit, I ordered (probably my 3rd) Jack & Coke, and I'll be damned if the fool didn't put in 4 shots worth of Jack. Fortunately, I can hold my liquor, and so I wasn't too intimidated. Well, maybe a little.
And this little bit of intimidation became even greater when I got my 4th drink, and the dude put maybe a tablespoon of coke in there. The rest was jack daniels. You should have seen the look on that dude's face, too, when he poured that drink. Downright evil.
Perhaps the only real bad thing about 37 was that they ran out of vodka. Party foul. But this wouldn't have even been a problem except that Andrea wanted a vodka drink. Armand and Kyle, and myself, were happy with what we had, but Andrea... no, she was tired of beer, and was ready for some vodka. I guess she had forgotten the whole, 'beer before liquor' routine. Not that she seemed any worse off for it, come to think of it...
So yeah, no vodka = party foul. Being the nice guy that I am, too, I took it upon myself to get the girl a vodka tonic. I tried 40, and no luck. I tried 43, and no luck. And then, finally, on 44, in Paris itself, they had some Kettle One left. As I write this now, this search seems far less intense than it actually was at the time. See, I didn't take any elevators since they were so slow that night. No, I walked from 37 up to 44, and then back down. Just so that Andrea could get her vodka tonic. In the end, mission accomplished.
Let's see... how much did I end up drinking that night? I had 4 Jack & Cokes (okay, one was a Jim Bean & Pepsi), one gin & tonic, most of one vodka tonic (the same one that I searched miles for, seemingly, since Andrea was too slow in drinking it), and one Sam Adams. With nary a hangover the next morning, to boot. Not bad. Kyle said he was really feeling his drinks, and Armand said the same. Kind of makes me think I didn't drink nearly enough. I guess there's always next year.
Besides drinking, there wasn't much else going on. The ice sculptures left something to be desired. Now, i wasn't expecting another David-urinating-Stoli like the Tycho Corp. had, but c'mon - the best J&B did was a guitar. An ice-sculpture guitar. Please. Also, they had Nemo and Dora the Explorer. Which was... random. Maybe they were the one giving out presents in the Hannukah room, since it was Santa giving out presents to the normal kids. And what else... certainly, no one used the photocopier for some preize ass shots, not on my watch, though Kyle did walk away with an impressive swingline-brand stapler.
I missed out on the supplementary holiday party thrown by my specific department (Go Cluster D!!), and I heard that the drinks were flowing like you wouldn't believe. Karen did several Jaeger-bombs. Even with my quasi-iron stomach, I don't think I could have held on. The only other whiff of holiday-spirit that has come my way was my office holiday gift. Your man, Dan McCormick, is now the proud owner of an official Jenner & Block LLP sweatsuit. Yup. A sweatsuit. It's nice as hell, to be sure. I was rocking it last night when I got home, and I expect I'll be doing so again this evening. It's navy blue, and the sweatshirt is a hoodie, complete with front pouch. So they didn't skimp. On the sweatsuit. Office culture. What can I say?
And speaking of office culture, my boss needs a christmas gift. Or, rather, Karen and I need to give one to her. And so I need ideas from someone. If you've got one - an idea, that is - don't be shy and send it my way. I'll give you a cookie if you do.
-dan
email me
I have two caveats to start of with. Well, three, I guess, though two are kind of related.
1. I am bored. Booooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeddddddddddddddd. Out of my fuckin' mind. Just because it's Friday don't mean a damn thing to me, since I am - say it with me now - bored. Jeezy chreezy.
2. I am ill. Or, rather, just getting over being ill. Which means I am still slightly ill, just not ill enough to prevent me from blabbing all up and down the internet.
3. I am tired. See, this is related to #2. As my body has been fighting the good fight, it was become worn down and tired. So my fatigue is, really, a by-product of my sickness. But you know, it's still a force to be reckoned with, so I'll include it as a seperate caveat.
Okay, so keeping all of this in mind, I will not go into excrutiating detail over my office holiday party that was last Friday night. This will be dull.
This was my first holiday party at an office. And you know, I sure did choose a good place to start off with. Remember, for the weekly happy hours that my office hosts, they go all out. And so for the once-a-year holiday party? They found even more stops to pull out. No, wait, that doesn't make much sense. I'm just trying to say the J&B went even more all out for their holiday party. Which means that for the happy hours, they don't really go all out at all, do they? This is all besides the point.
So we had 5 floors of food, music and entertainment. While the 40th floor was home to Elvis (and I mean the impersonator, not just the theming), I found the food there to be less than stellar. Besides, the bar on that floor ran out of both Jack Danieles and Coke, leaving me to drink, instead, a Jim Bean and Pepsi. That is hardly the same thing, I'll have you know. Maybe if it hadn't been my second drink, I wouldn't have noticed, but it was, and so I did. Notice it, that is.
Now, the Parisian floor was nice, in that they had a giant raw bar and some duck appetizer. however, it was way too crowded. The fact that the waiters there had berets on did little to assuage the difficulty of going up to the bar and ordering a drink.
I'll say now that I skipped the North Pole on the 47th floor - that was for kids only, after all. Of course, as a by-product, I missed out on the Hannukah room, as well, which again, I'm not explicitly allowed to enjoy since I'm not of the Chosen Ones, but still, i can play tourist.
So then there was the Asian floor on 44. Great decorations, sure, and a dearth of people made it seem okay. But they had only sushi, which I'm not such a fan of. And the music was coming from a tiny little boom box on someone's desk, and consisted of crap muzak like you would hear while waiting in line at Epcot Center. In the end, no thank you, yet again.
So with 4 floors down, and at best a luke-warm response, did Dan have a good time? Indeed I did, and I can tell you why - the 37th floor.
37 was the Greek floor. They had tasty greek-themed appetizers, and a charming duo of a guitarist and keyboardist. They, too, played crap, Disney-esque music, but they were at least playing it live. I think, in fact, that they played the same thing the entire night, but you know, by the time we got down there, I was a bit tipsy and so my mind wasn't quite the clearest.
That brings me to the other reason why 37 was great - the bartender. So, while each floor had a bar, not ever bar was staffed equally. To wit, I ordered (probably my 3rd) Jack & Coke, and I'll be damned if the fool didn't put in 4 shots worth of Jack. Fortunately, I can hold my liquor, and so I wasn't too intimidated. Well, maybe a little.
And this little bit of intimidation became even greater when I got my 4th drink, and the dude put maybe a tablespoon of coke in there. The rest was jack daniels. You should have seen the look on that dude's face, too, when he poured that drink. Downright evil.
Perhaps the only real bad thing about 37 was that they ran out of vodka. Party foul. But this wouldn't have even been a problem except that Andrea wanted a vodka drink. Armand and Kyle, and myself, were happy with what we had, but Andrea... no, she was tired of beer, and was ready for some vodka. I guess she had forgotten the whole, 'beer before liquor' routine. Not that she seemed any worse off for it, come to think of it...
So yeah, no vodka = party foul. Being the nice guy that I am, too, I took it upon myself to get the girl a vodka tonic. I tried 40, and no luck. I tried 43, and no luck. And then, finally, on 44, in Paris itself, they had some Kettle One left. As I write this now, this search seems far less intense than it actually was at the time. See, I didn't take any elevators since they were so slow that night. No, I walked from 37 up to 44, and then back down. Just so that Andrea could get her vodka tonic. In the end, mission accomplished.
Let's see... how much did I end up drinking that night? I had 4 Jack & Cokes (okay, one was a Jim Bean & Pepsi), one gin & tonic, most of one vodka tonic (the same one that I searched miles for, seemingly, since Andrea was too slow in drinking it), and one Sam Adams. With nary a hangover the next morning, to boot. Not bad. Kyle said he was really feeling his drinks, and Armand said the same. Kind of makes me think I didn't drink nearly enough. I guess there's always next year.
Besides drinking, there wasn't much else going on. The ice sculptures left something to be desired. Now, i wasn't expecting another David-urinating-Stoli like the Tycho Corp. had, but c'mon - the best J&B did was a guitar. An ice-sculpture guitar. Please. Also, they had Nemo and Dora the Explorer. Which was... random. Maybe they were the one giving out presents in the Hannukah room, since it was Santa giving out presents to the normal kids. And what else... certainly, no one used the photocopier for some preize ass shots, not on my watch, though Kyle did walk away with an impressive swingline-brand stapler.
I missed out on the supplementary holiday party thrown by my specific department (Go Cluster D!!), and I heard that the drinks were flowing like you wouldn't believe. Karen did several Jaeger-bombs. Even with my quasi-iron stomach, I don't think I could have held on. The only other whiff of holiday-spirit that has come my way was my office holiday gift. Your man, Dan McCormick, is now the proud owner of an official Jenner & Block LLP sweatsuit. Yup. A sweatsuit. It's nice as hell, to be sure. I was rocking it last night when I got home, and I expect I'll be doing so again this evening. It's navy blue, and the sweatshirt is a hoodie, complete with front pouch. So they didn't skimp. On the sweatsuit. Office culture. What can I say?
And speaking of office culture, my boss needs a christmas gift. Or, rather, Karen and I need to give one to her. And so I need ideas from someone. If you've got one - an idea, that is - don't be shy and send it my way. I'll give you a cookie if you do.
-dan
email me
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