Minutes to the 03/04/2006 MDS Meeting
The end is near. My dear readers, soon all that we have come to know will be done and gone. This black void in front of us is frightening. This voyage that you have undertaken with me and my comrades, at first seen as a joyful adventure, is now plainly in its death throes, and the abyss that lies beyond shakes me to the very core of my being. I do not know what will become of us. I am scared. I have seen the future, and it does not include Moby Dick. We are nearly done, gentle readers, and I pray that our nonsense finds a home in your hearts, so that our friendly chiding and threats of knife play will live on, even as we do not.
Godspeed, my friends.
IN ATTENDANCE
Liz (presiding), Dan (secretarying), Maggie (remindifying), Jenny (commencifying), Brian and Whet
RESOLUTIONS
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that the next meeting shall be on 03/25/2006 at 3:00 PM, and the reading assignment is to FINISH THE BOOK;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that Erin and the Treasurer are sanctioned for unspecified reasons;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that the Remindifier is sanctioned for eating a cheese-cracker Ahab during a moment of silence;
- IT IS HEREBY UNRESOVLED what being sanctioned means;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that Erin shall research the possible existence of whales’ balls;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that in case of pizza being chosen as the food of choice at the Oscars viewing party, the Commencifier shall bring her ham and pineapple;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that schematics for various Meatloaf Whales are to be brought in for consideration in anticipation of the end-of-book party where we shall recreate scenes from the book using meatloaf, mashed potatoes and/or other foodstuffs as needed.
THIS WILL BE A MESS. I AM JUST WARNING YOU NOW.
- The Commencifier once again faithfully saw to her duty and commencified the proceedings with a reading that somehow, possibly, invoked whales’ balls (i.e. testicles), leading the group to wonder if whales even have balls;
- The Commencifier went above and beyond the call of duty by providing baked cheese cracker animals, including whales and penguins, and one Capt. Ahab (which Maggie secretly ate);
- Moby Dick proves relevant today because there is a mention of it in Star Trek 7 (never mind that Star Trek II is a much better example since it is explicitly based on Moby Dick)
- The President and Commencifier begin a bout of gay-baiting, describing Queequag and Ishmael as “so gay, so totally gay”, and by bringing up Brokeback Mountain parodies;
- The MDS sits beneath a stuffed sailfish – keen!;
- The Remindifier demands attention (no record remains as to why, though);
- Brian shows off a pretty picture book;
- It is remarked that killing whales is awfully violent, and Brian begins to patronize the group by pointing out Stubbs’ (or was it Flask? Eh, whatever) reaction to killing a whale – while whale-killing is their only reason to be out on the high seas, they nonetheless must respect the whale in some capacity;
- Is there a point to the chapter, ‘The Town-Ho’s Story’? Is it just reflective of the book’s usual meandering style, of how Melville would try and emulate Shakespeare?
- Brian uses this question to put forth a theory he had come across, that Moby Dick, as we know it today, is actually two nearly wholly different stories that Melville cobbled together. That is, having written the beginning of the book, chapters 1-23 or so, Melville took a break, or discovered Shakespeare, and started an entirely different tangent. Perhaps the Town-Ho’s story was originally meant to be Moby Dick, and it was only after Melville’s epiphany that he decided to over-haul the story, adding on this talk of the White Whale and crazy Ahab. Just as Queequag and Ishmael would weave a mat while sailing, so did Melville re-weave the very fabric of the story;
- During a quiet moment, when the group was digesting this powerful theory, the Remindifier finishes off the cheese-cracker Ahab as previously alluded to;
- Was Melville actually a sloppy writer, hence his meandering, throw-it-all-in-there style? Or was he just indulging in his society’s ravenous hunger for natural history?;
- The Secretary shares a factoid about the Chinese possibly being the first to circumnavigate the world and “ALL ARE WOWED BY [THE SECRETARY’S] KNOWLEDGE OF ANCIENT CHINESE SAILING”;
- And so begets a digression on how to accomplish the lofty goal of a meatloaf whale:
- the President proposes some sort of devilish alchemy as far as the basic meatloaf recipe;
- the Commencifier and Secretary conspire to make a Whaler’s Pie using meatloaf and potatoes, eliciting a victorious high-five between the two;
- a suggestion is made to fashion a whale’s tail from bacon, whaling boats from fried onions;
- questions arise about how to approach the shape of the whale – is it to be a three-dimensional whale, or just something molded in profile?;
- regardless, the entire meatloaf whale is be covered in mashed potatoes, to give it the required whitish color;
- in order to approximate the cavern filled with spermaceti, it is suggested that a small cavity is made in the whale’s head and then filled with chicken gravy or mint jelly;
- lastly, and quite frankly incomprehensibly, someone suggests putting a doughnut in the meatloaf whale.
- The Remindifier proves herself a Godless heathen by calling Jesus wussy;
- The Commencifier would like get her hands on some spermaceti, a decision not endorsed by the greater MDS as it would be wrong (and apparently, jojoba oil is an acceptable substitute);
- Is Stubbs a dick?;
- The Jeroboam chapter proved highly disturbing and unsettling, as it demonstrated the full extent to which Ahab controls the crew of the Pequod. Also, Melville seems to suggest that religion thrives on fear, another salvo in his assault against religion;
- Brian provides tips on eating a Scotch Egg – make sure the hot, gooey yolk doesn’t squirt on your pants;
- There is additional development in the Ahab/Fedallah story as Fedallah is described as literally being in Ahab’s shadow, possibly suggesting that Ahab is possessed by him. But does this change Ahab at all? Is he any better or worse of for it?;
- The Secretary incorrectly remembered a plot point, and the President and Remindifier proved to be petty, evil creatures in making sure that the entire world knew of this innocent mistake;
- Moving back to the Jeroboam, how does the ship relate to the Biblical reference? First off, there are no gourds in this story. Aside from that, it goes a little something like this…
Solomon plays the field and then Jeroboam became the king and turned into a dick. The End. And the moral? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Does that mean that God will turn into a dick some day?
- The bizarre cotton candy is still in the (melted) Ice Cave, and it remains creepy.
- Having nothing else to discuss, the meeting was then ADJOURNED.
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The end is near. My dear readers, soon all that we have come to know will be done and gone. This black void in front of us is frightening. This voyage that you have undertaken with me and my comrades, at first seen as a joyful adventure, is now plainly in its death throes, and the abyss that lies beyond shakes me to the very core of my being. I do not know what will become of us. I am scared. I have seen the future, and it does not include Moby Dick. We are nearly done, gentle readers, and I pray that our nonsense finds a home in your hearts, so that our friendly chiding and threats of knife play will live on, even as we do not.
Godspeed, my friends.
IN ATTENDANCE
Liz (presiding), Dan (secretarying), Maggie (remindifying), Jenny (commencifying), Brian and Whet
RESOLUTIONS
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that the next meeting shall be on 03/25/2006 at 3:00 PM, and the reading assignment is to FINISH THE BOOK;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOVLED that Erin and the Treasurer are sanctioned for unspecified reasons;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that the Remindifier is sanctioned for eating a cheese-cracker Ahab during a moment of silence;
- IT IS HEREBY UNRESOVLED what being sanctioned means;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that Erin shall research the possible existence of whales’ balls;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that in case of pizza being chosen as the food of choice at the Oscars viewing party, the Commencifier shall bring her ham and pineapple;
- IT IS HEREBY RESOLVED that schematics for various Meatloaf Whales are to be brought in for consideration in anticipation of the end-of-book party where we shall recreate scenes from the book using meatloaf, mashed potatoes and/or other foodstuffs as needed.
THIS WILL BE A MESS. I AM JUST WARNING YOU NOW.
- The Commencifier once again faithfully saw to her duty and commencified the proceedings with a reading that somehow, possibly, invoked whales’ balls (i.e. testicles), leading the group to wonder if whales even have balls;
- The Commencifier went above and beyond the call of duty by providing baked cheese cracker animals, including whales and penguins, and one Capt. Ahab (which Maggie secretly ate);
- Moby Dick proves relevant today because there is a mention of it in Star Trek 7 (never mind that Star Trek II is a much better example since it is explicitly based on Moby Dick)
- The President and Commencifier begin a bout of gay-baiting, describing Queequag and Ishmael as “so gay, so totally gay”, and by bringing up Brokeback Mountain parodies;
- The MDS sits beneath a stuffed sailfish – keen!;
- The Remindifier demands attention (no record remains as to why, though);
- Brian shows off a pretty picture book;
- It is remarked that killing whales is awfully violent, and Brian begins to patronize the group by pointing out Stubbs’ (or was it Flask? Eh, whatever) reaction to killing a whale – while whale-killing is their only reason to be out on the high seas, they nonetheless must respect the whale in some capacity;
- Is there a point to the chapter, ‘The Town-Ho’s Story’? Is it just reflective of the book’s usual meandering style, of how Melville would try and emulate Shakespeare?
- Brian uses this question to put forth a theory he had come across, that Moby Dick, as we know it today, is actually two nearly wholly different stories that Melville cobbled together. That is, having written the beginning of the book, chapters 1-23 or so, Melville took a break, or discovered Shakespeare, and started an entirely different tangent. Perhaps the Town-Ho’s story was originally meant to be Moby Dick, and it was only after Melville’s epiphany that he decided to over-haul the story, adding on this talk of the White Whale and crazy Ahab. Just as Queequag and Ishmael would weave a mat while sailing, so did Melville re-weave the very fabric of the story;
- During a quiet moment, when the group was digesting this powerful theory, the Remindifier finishes off the cheese-cracker Ahab as previously alluded to;
- Was Melville actually a sloppy writer, hence his meandering, throw-it-all-in-there style? Or was he just indulging in his society’s ravenous hunger for natural history?;
- The Secretary shares a factoid about the Chinese possibly being the first to circumnavigate the world and “ALL ARE WOWED BY [THE SECRETARY’S] KNOWLEDGE OF ANCIENT CHINESE SAILING”;
- And so begets a digression on how to accomplish the lofty goal of a meatloaf whale:
- the President proposes some sort of devilish alchemy as far as the basic meatloaf recipe;
- the Commencifier and Secretary conspire to make a Whaler’s Pie using meatloaf and potatoes, eliciting a victorious high-five between the two;
- a suggestion is made to fashion a whale’s tail from bacon, whaling boats from fried onions;
- questions arise about how to approach the shape of the whale – is it to be a three-dimensional whale, or just something molded in profile?;
- regardless, the entire meatloaf whale is be covered in mashed potatoes, to give it the required whitish color;
- in order to approximate the cavern filled with spermaceti, it is suggested that a small cavity is made in the whale’s head and then filled with chicken gravy or mint jelly;
- lastly, and quite frankly incomprehensibly, someone suggests putting a doughnut in the meatloaf whale.
- The Remindifier proves herself a Godless heathen by calling Jesus wussy;
- The Commencifier would like get her hands on some spermaceti, a decision not endorsed by the greater MDS as it would be wrong (and apparently, jojoba oil is an acceptable substitute);
- Is Stubbs a dick?;
- The Jeroboam chapter proved highly disturbing and unsettling, as it demonstrated the full extent to which Ahab controls the crew of the Pequod. Also, Melville seems to suggest that religion thrives on fear, another salvo in his assault against religion;
- Brian provides tips on eating a Scotch Egg – make sure the hot, gooey yolk doesn’t squirt on your pants;
- There is additional development in the Ahab/Fedallah story as Fedallah is described as literally being in Ahab’s shadow, possibly suggesting that Ahab is possessed by him. But does this change Ahab at all? Is he any better or worse of for it?;
- The Secretary incorrectly remembered a plot point, and the President and Remindifier proved to be petty, evil creatures in making sure that the entire world knew of this innocent mistake;
- Moving back to the Jeroboam, how does the ship relate to the Biblical reference? First off, there are no gourds in this story. Aside from that, it goes a little something like this…
Solomon plays the field and then Jeroboam became the king and turned into a dick. The End. And the moral? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Does that mean that God will turn into a dick some day?
- The bizarre cotton candy is still in the (melted) Ice Cave, and it remains creepy.
- Having nothing else to discuss, the meeting was then ADJOURNED.
email me
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