Hot Licks in 2K6
Thanks, Kyle, for the subject line. It sure beats what I was thinking: "Fewer disease-carrying-ticks in 2K6".
The recent conclusion to 2005 has given me pause, so that I may reflect upon what happened and what didn't happen. First off, here are some favorites:
Favorite book read in 2005: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Klay, by Michael Chabon
Favorite movie seen in 2005: I've got to give it to King Kong, directed by Peter Jackson, though Noah Baumbach's The Squid and the Whale is a close, close second
Favorite album of 2005: Takk… by Sigur Ros.
Favorite whisky of 2005: Bunahabbin, though it will forever remind me of my two months of trial-related Hell
Favorite dish cooked: Carmelized pears in a black peppercorn-caramel sauce with English Stilton
I think a year ago at this time, I was getting ready for the State Department's Foreign Service Exam. I was reading Foreign Affairs and watching the News Hour as much as I could. I may have even bought some AP History and US Gov't books to help prepare. So much for that. But beyond that, I can't quite remember what I did for the first six months of 2005. Let me look back…
Well shit if this blog isn't helpful in this regard. I didn't talk about hardly a damn thing. Some drunken postings about dishes I had cooked, but otherwise… well, I never said I'd use this to keep track of things. All right, then, on to my paper journals…
Man, do I have some awful handwriting or what? That's what I take away more than anything from my own records of the goings on in my life and mind. Running a close second are girls – lots of talk about dating. Unrequited crushes, longings to return to past relationships, possibilities with new friends. The usual for any teenage boy, I guess, but whatever. Also omnipresent last year seemed to be a persistant quest to Figure Shit Out. What to do Next? What sort of career do I choose? How do I go forward? These were the thoughts, by and large, that kept me going for the beginning of 2K5.
The second part began well enough, with the wedding of two dear friends, Brooke and Tim. Congrats, guys! Sadly, the good times could not last forever, and the demands of my job took over my life. I can't say that I thought I'd find myself working so much in a law firm, pushing paper around, but hey, that's what happens sometimes. I can only say so much about what those months were like (including the preparation beforehand and the cleaning-up afterwards), and I feel as though I've said it all before. Too many hours gone with too little to show for it, more or less. I know, I know, there's plenty of intangibles associated with a project like that, and to be honest, I don't know what else to expect – like, do I want a special plaque to hang on my wall for my troubles? Hardly. I did get a case of wine, which is as good as anything you could ask for, I think. Maybe I just mean that even when it came to intangibles, I found them lacking, considering just how much of my life got consumed by my job.
But *anyway*, post-trial came the idea that I would cook for a living, and I sure as hell through myself into that process. Considering my thinking now, I can see why – anything looked appealing after that trial. And I was so ready to turn away from the law firm once and for all and follow my heart… It did come as an unfortunate and unwelcomed shock when the monetary cost of attending a culinary school stopped this plan in its tracks (a halt which now, some time after the fact, was for the best, I readily admit).
And then I got robbed, and I'll be damned if that wasn't the suckiest thing to happen to me all year, the trial included. That my space was invaded like that, and complete strangers were in my home, walking around my apartment and rifling through my things was (and remains, to an extent) very upsetting. Not that I let myself get upset at the time – I had a Thanksgiving meal to plan.
And so comes December – a month that proved to be the worst and best for me out of all the rest. It began with one of the more distressing episodes of depression I've ever had, the summer of 2001 included. With just so many competing sources of stress all converging on me at the same time, it was all I could do to keep going. And, in the interest of full-disclosure, had it not been for the dogged persistence of my friends, I don't know what could have happened. So, thanks to y'all, and you know who you are.
Then the holidays themselves. Often the most stressful time in my life, if only because I am pushed into spending a great deal of time with my family and as anyone who knows me knows, I don't so easily enjoy time spent with my family, the holidays can be quite trying. This year, however, the family-front was as peaceful as could be. By and large, it was a lovely time for all of us. As if that wasn't a success enough in its own right, I also spent a lot of quality time with friends whom I see too rarely for my liking. Parties here and there, hearty laughs about giving Cantaloupe Hats and enjoying Longhorn Fuckhouses, seeing old friends and making new ones, this Holiday season seemed unusually rich and event-filled. Thanks are in order for everyone involved, and I trust that y'all know who you are.
I'm sure, too, that my two week vacation from work helped a lot in making these recent holidays some of the best of my entire life.
Where does this leave me now? Damned if I know. My thoughts on cooking are more tepid. For one thing, I won't be running off to cooking school any time soon. Not before I can work, in some capacity, in a commercial kitchen, to say the least. It's too huge of a thing to drop everything and pursue a half-baked plan. Would I enjoy cooking still if I were doing it 60 hours a week for a room full of strangers? Can I find happiness enough in continuing to cook for my friends as often as our schedules allow? Am I prepared to give up a lot of the material comforts that I've come to enjoy in order to be a successful cook? And I'm not just talking things like plasma tv's and nice shoes. What about health insurance? Or paid vacation time, and the ability to pay for airfare, so that I can continue to see my friends, no matter where they may be? But if not in cooking, what career do I look for?
Do I stay with the law firm, moving up in the ranks? I do have a natural inclination to organize shit and keep track of things. Will it be enough that I have a full and rich life outside of work to make being a professional paper pusher palatable? I don't want to suggest that I'm giving up on any dreams. Rather, I just don't know what my dreams are.
So I'm faced with a lot of unknowns. Last year at this time I had something specific to work for, even if it didn't wind up working out. Right now, I have a plan, too, but it's not exactly fully fleshed out. In short, I should leave Jenner and find another office job with more regular hours. Then, I can try and get some sort of part-time gig in a restaurant, even if that means scrubbing potatoes for one night a week with no pay. If the kitchen's siren's call remains strong, then so be it, debt and creature comforts be damned. I just need that other office job first, I guess, and off I go.
I guess.
At any rate, I won't go so far as to call this a resolution. I prefer to keep my New Year's resolutions smaller, and therefore more achievable. So, one resolution I have is to clean out my closet. Another is to write about happy and pleasant things that have happened to me, both in my journals and online. With my recent walk down memory lane, it seems my entire life is spent worrying about things and being unhappy. Surely there's more to my life than that. Also, next time I begin to see my life in a dark light, I'd like to have some nice things to remember easily available.
So that's my year-in-review for 2K5, as well as a preview for 2K6. We'll see what happens.
xoxo,
dan
email me
Thanks, Kyle, for the subject line. It sure beats what I was thinking: "Fewer disease-carrying-ticks in 2K6".
The recent conclusion to 2005 has given me pause, so that I may reflect upon what happened and what didn't happen. First off, here are some favorites:
Favorite book read in 2005: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Klay, by Michael Chabon
Favorite movie seen in 2005: I've got to give it to King Kong, directed by Peter Jackson, though Noah Baumbach's The Squid and the Whale is a close, close second
Favorite album of 2005: Takk… by Sigur Ros.
Favorite whisky of 2005: Bunahabbin, though it will forever remind me of my two months of trial-related Hell
Favorite dish cooked: Carmelized pears in a black peppercorn-caramel sauce with English Stilton
I think a year ago at this time, I was getting ready for the State Department's Foreign Service Exam. I was reading Foreign Affairs and watching the News Hour as much as I could. I may have even bought some AP History and US Gov't books to help prepare. So much for that. But beyond that, I can't quite remember what I did for the first six months of 2005. Let me look back…
Well shit if this blog isn't helpful in this regard. I didn't talk about hardly a damn thing. Some drunken postings about dishes I had cooked, but otherwise… well, I never said I'd use this to keep track of things. All right, then, on to my paper journals…
Man, do I have some awful handwriting or what? That's what I take away more than anything from my own records of the goings on in my life and mind. Running a close second are girls – lots of talk about dating. Unrequited crushes, longings to return to past relationships, possibilities with new friends. The usual for any teenage boy, I guess, but whatever. Also omnipresent last year seemed to be a persistant quest to Figure Shit Out. What to do Next? What sort of career do I choose? How do I go forward? These were the thoughts, by and large, that kept me going for the beginning of 2K5.
The second part began well enough, with the wedding of two dear friends, Brooke and Tim. Congrats, guys! Sadly, the good times could not last forever, and the demands of my job took over my life. I can't say that I thought I'd find myself working so much in a law firm, pushing paper around, but hey, that's what happens sometimes. I can only say so much about what those months were like (including the preparation beforehand and the cleaning-up afterwards), and I feel as though I've said it all before. Too many hours gone with too little to show for it, more or less. I know, I know, there's plenty of intangibles associated with a project like that, and to be honest, I don't know what else to expect – like, do I want a special plaque to hang on my wall for my troubles? Hardly. I did get a case of wine, which is as good as anything you could ask for, I think. Maybe I just mean that even when it came to intangibles, I found them lacking, considering just how much of my life got consumed by my job.
But *anyway*, post-trial came the idea that I would cook for a living, and I sure as hell through myself into that process. Considering my thinking now, I can see why – anything looked appealing after that trial. And I was so ready to turn away from the law firm once and for all and follow my heart… It did come as an unfortunate and unwelcomed shock when the monetary cost of attending a culinary school stopped this plan in its tracks (a halt which now, some time after the fact, was for the best, I readily admit).
And then I got robbed, and I'll be damned if that wasn't the suckiest thing to happen to me all year, the trial included. That my space was invaded like that, and complete strangers were in my home, walking around my apartment and rifling through my things was (and remains, to an extent) very upsetting. Not that I let myself get upset at the time – I had a Thanksgiving meal to plan.
And so comes December – a month that proved to be the worst and best for me out of all the rest. It began with one of the more distressing episodes of depression I've ever had, the summer of 2001 included. With just so many competing sources of stress all converging on me at the same time, it was all I could do to keep going. And, in the interest of full-disclosure, had it not been for the dogged persistence of my friends, I don't know what could have happened. So, thanks to y'all, and you know who you are.
Then the holidays themselves. Often the most stressful time in my life, if only because I am pushed into spending a great deal of time with my family and as anyone who knows me knows, I don't so easily enjoy time spent with my family, the holidays can be quite trying. This year, however, the family-front was as peaceful as could be. By and large, it was a lovely time for all of us. As if that wasn't a success enough in its own right, I also spent a lot of quality time with friends whom I see too rarely for my liking. Parties here and there, hearty laughs about giving Cantaloupe Hats and enjoying Longhorn Fuckhouses, seeing old friends and making new ones, this Holiday season seemed unusually rich and event-filled. Thanks are in order for everyone involved, and I trust that y'all know who you are.
I'm sure, too, that my two week vacation from work helped a lot in making these recent holidays some of the best of my entire life.
Where does this leave me now? Damned if I know. My thoughts on cooking are more tepid. For one thing, I won't be running off to cooking school any time soon. Not before I can work, in some capacity, in a commercial kitchen, to say the least. It's too huge of a thing to drop everything and pursue a half-baked plan. Would I enjoy cooking still if I were doing it 60 hours a week for a room full of strangers? Can I find happiness enough in continuing to cook for my friends as often as our schedules allow? Am I prepared to give up a lot of the material comforts that I've come to enjoy in order to be a successful cook? And I'm not just talking things like plasma tv's and nice shoes. What about health insurance? Or paid vacation time, and the ability to pay for airfare, so that I can continue to see my friends, no matter where they may be? But if not in cooking, what career do I look for?
Do I stay with the law firm, moving up in the ranks? I do have a natural inclination to organize shit and keep track of things. Will it be enough that I have a full and rich life outside of work to make being a professional paper pusher palatable? I don't want to suggest that I'm giving up on any dreams. Rather, I just don't know what my dreams are.
So I'm faced with a lot of unknowns. Last year at this time I had something specific to work for, even if it didn't wind up working out. Right now, I have a plan, too, but it's not exactly fully fleshed out. In short, I should leave Jenner and find another office job with more regular hours. Then, I can try and get some sort of part-time gig in a restaurant, even if that means scrubbing potatoes for one night a week with no pay. If the kitchen's siren's call remains strong, then so be it, debt and creature comforts be damned. I just need that other office job first, I guess, and off I go.
I guess.
At any rate, I won't go so far as to call this a resolution. I prefer to keep my New Year's resolutions smaller, and therefore more achievable. So, one resolution I have is to clean out my closet. Another is to write about happy and pleasant things that have happened to me, both in my journals and online. With my recent walk down memory lane, it seems my entire life is spent worrying about things and being unhappy. Surely there's more to my life than that. Also, next time I begin to see my life in a dark light, I'd like to have some nice things to remember easily available.
So that's my year-in-review for 2K5, as well as a preview for 2K6. We'll see what happens.
xoxo,
dan
email me
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