Yes, I lost it all
Briefly, for you conspiracy theorists out there, go here. It's a hoot. True? Coincidence? You be the judge.
Anyway, last night was spent playing poker. I am an utter novice to the game, having played the game... let me count... 6 times. Meaning, that is, that I've sat down for a long night of poker 6 times, not that I've only played six hands. I can only thank Kyle for that first night (after all, who can forget his first time?), but since then I've carried my own interest handily.
Sadly, I have yet to parlay my keen interest in the game into anything resembling skill. I suck at poker. Granted, like I said, I'm but a novice. but so are my friends with whom I play, and they're all better than me. Though, actually, Whet I would consider something more than a novice. Anyway, this is about me, and how I'm no good.
At first, fine - someone has to be on the losing end. We do play with money, albeit not much, but who wants to lose money to your friends? While it does provide for ample guilt-trip opportunities, I think I would rather lose my money to strangers. Loss in anonymity is somehow more palatable, I've found.
But since that first game or two, I've become a keen viewer of the assorted poker games that are always on tv. It could be The World Series on ESPN, or the World Poker Tour on the Travel Network, or even Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo. There are plenty of options, is what I'm saying, for at-home learning. Maybe poker skills aren't something that can be picked up by watching people play on tv? But tv has taught me so much else already.
Sadly, my poker game has matured such that I know plenty of nicknames for assorted hands (you got your American Airlines, Kojak, Snowmen, Sailboats, etc etc etc), but little else. Which is just goddamn annoying, really.
In my younger days, I took part in some of the nerdiest of endeavours: table-top role-playing games. My game was Warhammer 40K, and one would assemble miniature models, paint them, and push them around a table top in some sort of chess-like game against another play with similarly painted models. I was never, ever any good. Generally, not for lack of trying, or even strategy. In the end, I just had piss poor luck when rolling dice (an integral part of the game). My painting was also total crap, and while not necessary to play, did prove to be an enjoyable aspect to the hobby.You should have seen this one Eldar Warlock I had, with bone armour and Witchblade - it was totally awesome, just awesome, dude. In the end, I just ran out of the energy to continue to lose, and I let this hobby pass into the history books.
I guess poker is my new table-top role-playing game, only with a much smaller social stigma (if any). Certainly, I continue my habit of being piss poor despite trying otherwise. While I can't blame my failures on luck so much, there is a point where if you don't got good cards to play, you can't really play that well. I've foudn that bluffing isn't really a sound strategy, especially when your friends know how you play, and know that you're probably bluffing. And it's hard to compete when you can't even make a pair.
But poker is about much more than just luck. The reason why you can even play poker in California, incidentally, is that it's not considered a game of chance, but a game of skill. So there's skill to be learned, honed, crafted. Maybe I'm just not giving myself enough time. It's not like I ever really practice, or read up on it. Like i said, I stick to what I see on tv. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for poker.
Which is a shame. Poker is appealing to me, on the one hand because, like, who wouldn't want to be good at poker. And on the other hand, poker is "in", and my life has always been spent trying to get in on what's "in". Okay, not so much that one. I do lie very well, and readily. Probably too readily for my own good. But so I should be good at that part of poker, the bluffing and semi-bluffing. And I do have a basic understanding of how to bet, and when, and how much. but still, success - or hell, just breaking even at the end of the night - continues to elude me.
Last night, for example, I started off welll. I was practicing what I saw, or at least trying to. I wasn't even drinking, so I was doing a decent job of staying focused. And then, early on, during a game of Seven Card Stud, I had a total brain fart, as it were. In heads up play, I forgot the cardinal rule of Stud Poker - if you can't beat what you're opponent is showing, then fold immediately. On 5th Street, Whet was showing a pair of 7's. I had one 5 as an upcard, as well as another as one of my downcards. I had a 10 kicker. I was trying to out-draw him, so heretofore, I had just kept betting in the hopes of getting another pair, or - hell, just getting something better than a pair of 5's with a 10 kicker. But by this point, I realized that my odds were slim to none. Did I fold anyway? Admittedly, at this point, it was a big pot, and I had already invested a fair amount. And if I drawn a needed card, I would have walked away handsomely. So, in that respect, it wasn't a bad investment - to put in another $5 to a pot that already had at least $20. Yeah - a $20+ pot with just a pair of 5's. That's the brain fart aspect, people. And sure enough, I didn't draw anything that I needed, and Whet with his *pair of 7's* beat my ass. My attempts to buy the pot were in vain. My attempts to bluff him out where in vain. Basically, all my attempts were in vain.
Talk about being on the short stack at this point. Hands go by, I do better, I recoup some money. At the very least, I'm still playing. Then comes 7 Card Stud again. I look at my two cards, a 6 and 7 of spades. I stay in, b/c no one bet. on 4th Street, I get a 5. At this point, I become victim to another brain fart and somehow believe that I have a pair of 5's. I overbet, much like last time. Since I don't have many chips, it's not like I have much of an option. I was "making a move". Heads up against, Liz, and this is by 6th Street, I have not once looked at my cards again, so I remain convince that at the very least, I have a pair of 5's. All in as I was, I was just hoping that Liz didn't have anyting. Liz did, however. Her own inebriation seemed to let her play pretty well in that instance. as she took her pair of Ace's all the way to my bank, where she took my money. All of it. I had busted out, ladies and gentleman.
This was the second time that I had lost everything, though this time, I resisted the urge to buy more chips. I didn't try to borrow any. Even though I ahd seen Kyle take $10 from me in another game, and then doubled that by night's end, or something close, so that I got my $10 back, plus he walked away with something. No, I looked at the table in front of me, now without any neat-o chips, sighed, and went and baked a cheesecake.
So two brain farts, two hours, and one cheesecake later, I was just feeling... annoyed, mostly. Because I didn't lose for not knowing how to play (well, not exactly, natch). No, I lost because of brain farts. That's just not respectable at all.
For better or for worse, I now find myself in the company of some random woman who happened to be on the last Celebrity Poker Showdown. Gayle O'Grady, I think, from NBC's American Dreams. She was playing, and thought taht she had made an 9-high straight. She bet aggressively. Then, in a showdown against some dude from SNL - after putting most of her money in a pot that she thought she was a shoe-in to win - realized that the 6 that was on the board that she was expecting to use in her straight was actually another 9. So, no straight, and no money. The moral is: even crap network actors can have brain farts, too. That's a pretty crap moral, and doesn't do much to make me feel better.
What does make me feel better, though, is that one skill of which I am certainly proud, and one that is well-respected and enjoyed by all, is that I can bake a damn fine cheesecake. So to all prospective future opponents, when you sit down at a poker table with me, beware - for I may see your raise of $5 with a Desert Storm cheesecake. How will you play that one, smart guy?
xoxo,
ddm
email me
Briefly, for you conspiracy theorists out there, go here. It's a hoot. True? Coincidence? You be the judge.
Anyway, last night was spent playing poker. I am an utter novice to the game, having played the game... let me count... 6 times. Meaning, that is, that I've sat down for a long night of poker 6 times, not that I've only played six hands. I can only thank Kyle for that first night (after all, who can forget his first time?), but since then I've carried my own interest handily.
Sadly, I have yet to parlay my keen interest in the game into anything resembling skill. I suck at poker. Granted, like I said, I'm but a novice. but so are my friends with whom I play, and they're all better than me. Though, actually, Whet I would consider something more than a novice. Anyway, this is about me, and how I'm no good.
At first, fine - someone has to be on the losing end. We do play with money, albeit not much, but who wants to lose money to your friends? While it does provide for ample guilt-trip opportunities, I think I would rather lose my money to strangers. Loss in anonymity is somehow more palatable, I've found.
But since that first game or two, I've become a keen viewer of the assorted poker games that are always on tv. It could be The World Series on ESPN, or the World Poker Tour on the Travel Network, or even Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo. There are plenty of options, is what I'm saying, for at-home learning. Maybe poker skills aren't something that can be picked up by watching people play on tv? But tv has taught me so much else already.
Sadly, my poker game has matured such that I know plenty of nicknames for assorted hands (you got your American Airlines, Kojak, Snowmen, Sailboats, etc etc etc), but little else. Which is just goddamn annoying, really.
In my younger days, I took part in some of the nerdiest of endeavours: table-top role-playing games. My game was Warhammer 40K, and one would assemble miniature models, paint them, and push them around a table top in some sort of chess-like game against another play with similarly painted models. I was never, ever any good. Generally, not for lack of trying, or even strategy. In the end, I just had piss poor luck when rolling dice (an integral part of the game). My painting was also total crap, and while not necessary to play, did prove to be an enjoyable aspect to the hobby.
I guess poker is my new table-top role-playing game, only with a much smaller social stigma (if any). Certainly, I continue my habit of being piss poor despite trying otherwise. While I can't blame my failures on luck so much, there is a point where if you don't got good cards to play, you can't really play that well. I've foudn that bluffing isn't really a sound strategy, especially when your friends know how you play, and know that you're probably bluffing. And it's hard to compete when you can't even make a pair.
But poker is about much more than just luck. The reason why you can even play poker in California, incidentally, is that it's not considered a game of chance, but a game of skill. So there's skill to be learned, honed, crafted. Maybe I'm just not giving myself enough time. It's not like I ever really practice, or read up on it. Like i said, I stick to what I see on tv. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for poker.
Which is a shame. Poker is appealing to me, on the one hand because, like, who wouldn't want to be good at poker. And on the other hand, poker is "in", and my life has always been spent trying to get in on what's "in". Okay, not so much that one. I do lie very well, and readily. Probably too readily for my own good. But so I should be good at that part of poker, the bluffing and semi-bluffing. And I do have a basic understanding of how to bet, and when, and how much. but still, success - or hell, just breaking even at the end of the night - continues to elude me.
Last night, for example, I started off welll. I was practicing what I saw, or at least trying to. I wasn't even drinking, so I was doing a decent job of staying focused. And then, early on, during a game of Seven Card Stud, I had a total brain fart, as it were. In heads up play, I forgot the cardinal rule of Stud Poker - if you can't beat what you're opponent is showing, then fold immediately. On 5th Street, Whet was showing a pair of 7's. I had one 5 as an upcard, as well as another as one of my downcards. I had a 10 kicker. I was trying to out-draw him, so heretofore, I had just kept betting in the hopes of getting another pair, or - hell, just getting something better than a pair of 5's with a 10 kicker. But by this point, I realized that my odds were slim to none. Did I fold anyway? Admittedly, at this point, it was a big pot, and I had already invested a fair amount. And if I drawn a needed card, I would have walked away handsomely. So, in that respect, it wasn't a bad investment - to put in another $5 to a pot that already had at least $20. Yeah - a $20+ pot with just a pair of 5's. That's the brain fart aspect, people. And sure enough, I didn't draw anything that I needed, and Whet with his *pair of 7's* beat my ass. My attempts to buy the pot were in vain. My attempts to bluff him out where in vain. Basically, all my attempts were in vain.
Talk about being on the short stack at this point. Hands go by, I do better, I recoup some money. At the very least, I'm still playing. Then comes 7 Card Stud again. I look at my two cards, a 6 and 7 of spades. I stay in, b/c no one bet. on 4th Street, I get a 5. At this point, I become victim to another brain fart and somehow believe that I have a pair of 5's. I overbet, much like last time. Since I don't have many chips, it's not like I have much of an option. I was "making a move". Heads up against, Liz, and this is by 6th Street, I have not once looked at my cards again, so I remain convince that at the very least, I have a pair of 5's. All in as I was, I was just hoping that Liz didn't have anyting. Liz did, however. Her own inebriation seemed to let her play pretty well in that instance. as she took her pair of Ace's all the way to my bank, where she took my money. All of it. I had busted out, ladies and gentleman.
This was the second time that I had lost everything, though this time, I resisted the urge to buy more chips. I didn't try to borrow any. Even though I ahd seen Kyle take $10 from me in another game, and then doubled that by night's end, or something close, so that I got my $10 back, plus he walked away with something. No, I looked at the table in front of me, now without any neat-o chips, sighed, and went and baked a cheesecake.
So two brain farts, two hours, and one cheesecake later, I was just feeling... annoyed, mostly. Because I didn't lose for not knowing how to play (well, not exactly, natch). No, I lost because of brain farts. That's just not respectable at all.
For better or for worse, I now find myself in the company of some random woman who happened to be on the last Celebrity Poker Showdown. Gayle O'Grady, I think, from NBC's American Dreams. She was playing, and thought taht she had made an 9-high straight. She bet aggressively. Then, in a showdown against some dude from SNL - after putting most of her money in a pot that she thought she was a shoe-in to win - realized that the 6 that was on the board that she was expecting to use in her straight was actually another 9. So, no straight, and no money. The moral is: even crap network actors can have brain farts, too. That's a pretty crap moral, and doesn't do much to make me feel better.
What does make me feel better, though, is that one skill of which I am certainly proud, and one that is well-respected and enjoyed by all, is that I can bake a damn fine cheesecake. So to all prospective future opponents, when you sit down at a poker table with me, beware - for I may see your raise of $5 with a Desert Storm cheesecake. How will you play that one, smart guy?
xoxo,
ddm
email me
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