I think I had something written here earlier. But now it's gone. I don't understand how blogs work. I mean, on the one hand, I either use it as a tool to meet girls, so as to better show off my keen intellect (is that what they're calling it these days?); or I use it to demonstrate to myself that I am neurotic. And so yeah, is that how blogs work?
Who cares. Anyway, I think I was talking about how I think Fall started today. Yes, that was it. If only I knew where that post went... Though, what I realized afterwards was that wondering when Fall starts is a pretty wimpy thing to think about, and I'm really trying to move beyond that.
Today at work was... the same. Same as usual. Though, with significantly more label-making. Otherwise - the same. I try not to speak badly about this job because I'm lucky just to have one. And in a lot of ways, it's a fine job. Better than fine, some might say. I get paid well to sit on my ass for 8 hours a day. And they give me food sometimes, too, for my troubles. Boo hoo is right! But really, is this why I went to College?
I guess my thoughts about College are generally a little on the cynical side. See, I had a job with my own College. It took them 4 months to make me an offer from when I first submitted my resume. And in this time were several interviews, and other crap things to deal with. But I got a job in the end, and it was generally a good one.
Fast forward 5 months, and my boss sits me down and fires me. Gives me two weeks notice to finish up, but then I'm gone. She felt that I was doing such a poor job that my continued employment wasn't going to be worthwhile, for either party. Long story short, I was bummed, certainly, but in the end, I got a summer vacation (kind of) and collected unemployment. And, I got this new job which is better, at least in terms of what I want out of my life now.
Which isn't to say that I don't have frustrations from my old job. I think I tried to avoid being petty about it, and so I didn't communicate much in the way of my side. The only thing that I really said in my defense was that I didn't think I was doing such a poor job that my termination was required. My boss Linda just said that she felt otherwise (if she said that much, even). Sure, I wrote a letter, but I'm sure that that was trashed.
But it's not like there were even things that I was going to say that were petty. It's like, there's a different between being snide and petty and legitimately standing up for oneself. I was going to go no matter what, I had no interest in saving my job. But, I could have gone out a little bit better, maybe.
Armand gets frustrated - I think - whenever I metion this job, or how I might look up the old office website to see if they've replaced me yet (last I checked, my old job was still open). I can agree that that's just living in the past, and, I don't know, stuff. But maybe I never really had closure. Which sucks. To not have any closure. Then again, maybe having closure is too much to ask.
What I have to think about, too, is the fact that I have never, ever done a bad job with anything in life. No, that's not entirely true. But, in terms of jobs that I've held - never a bad job. Even when I was a camp counselor, I managed to pull it off and do great. One of the best counselor's at my camp for the two summers that I was there. Also, I went to a school that told us that we were the smartest people on the planet. The cat's pajama's, as it were, of young people today. I don't even know if cat's pajama's is a real term. But I'll pretend that it is.
So I go into this job thinking that of course I'd do well. And 5 months later, I hear otherwise. Otherwise to the point that I was fired. WTF?!? Maybe my boss was just being a dumb-ass herself (been known to happen, certainly), or, I don't even know what. But, still, I was told that I wasn't good enough. Which sucked, and continues to suck.
Now, I've always known that I have limits. Particularly, anything athetically minded has been down my ladder of Things Dan Can Do Well. So I've never expected to do well in sports, or anything sporting. But working? I rock work. My bosses have all loved me. Except this one, Linda. So, it was a shock to be told I wasn't good enough, when I that was the last thing i ever would have expected to hear.
As you can probably tell, even, I probably still am... I don't know. I still feel at odds with this. Without so much as a warning that my job performance was sufficiently poor to warrant my immediate termination, I was gone *from my own college that I spent four years busting my balls for*. Gee, thanks, and yes, I'll be sure to write out a check to you jack-asses.
but you know, whatever. A big fat fucking Whatever. To quote televisionwithoutpity, even, there's not enough Whatever in the world to describe how I feel about this old job.
In some ways, though, I find this particularly resonant since at my new job, I have a 90 day performance evaluation. If I don't do well enough, I'll get fired. I am thankful that my new job made that explicitly clear to me during orientation. Kudos, Jenner & Block. And while I don't think I ahve anything to really worry about, I thought the same about my last job. Yes, there are things to work on. There always are. I do have another 3 weeks, too, before I actually have the evaluation, so I have time to improve. While I'm not exactly attached to working at Jenner, I am attached to having a job, and so I just don't want to lose this one. No thank you.
So that's work. Mostly my old job, but I included something about my new one, too. I can go on about my new one. And... I will.
One thing I was looking forward to with my new job was that there would be a more enjoyable office environment. Whereas my last job had 4 people in the ofice, this one has over 500 or something. Plus, 70 of them are just like me - at least insofaras they're just out of school and In Between Things. So, yes, community. Let's all hang out. Meet new people. Yay.
Sadly, though, my own office is rather isolated from other people's. That makes it hard to hang out and shoot the shit. Yes, I can take trips to go visit other people, but it's like, I do have work to do, and I just go all over the damn office to meet people. What's more, and even more frustrating, there are some people with whom I've made friends, sort of, and I've hung out with them at my office happy hour, and here and there besides, and have generally made an effort to be friendly - but have they? No. No one has ever stopped by my damn office to say hi. Or whatever. And I have quite the big office. As well as a monstrous rubber band ball that will one day be considered "awe-inspiring".
Now, I know, I know - they're just as busy as I am (they're in fact more busy), and if I don't have time to visit, then they don't either. True. I know. But still, why can't they make a damn effort? Just because they get to be on a floor with some life to it... Yeah, so I complain. I get the job with the young people, but then it's just different enough to be dissapointing. Remember, I am never satisfied with anything - I must tweak, and edit and change constatnly.
So anyway, that's frustrating. Because I wanted more out of this job. And I know, the only thing I can do is just keep trying. There are plenty of people with whom to hang out and meet. Maybe they won't all be tools, even. Imagine that. But this is my blog, and I'm allowed to whine about it. So =P
Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is also my friend Kyle's house-warming party. That should be nice. Fun, even. I think we're also going to pick up booze this weekend for our Halloween party. The booze-run is always fun. But other than that... my weekend is a little bare. Which ends up being par for the course. I could do worse for myself, I admit, but I might be hard pressed to figure out how. If only I had a date to go see the We Ragazzi show (because, well, why not go see it?) after having gone to Tango Sur. God that's a good restaurant. Beef, just plain, red beef. Damn. I shouldn't say anything else for fear that I might explode with beef lust.
-dan
email me
Who cares. Anyway, I think I was talking about how I think Fall started today. Yes, that was it. If only I knew where that post went... Though, what I realized afterwards was that wondering when Fall starts is a pretty wimpy thing to think about, and I'm really trying to move beyond that.
Today at work was... the same. Same as usual. Though, with significantly more label-making. Otherwise - the same. I try not to speak badly about this job because I'm lucky just to have one. And in a lot of ways, it's a fine job. Better than fine, some might say. I get paid well to sit on my ass for 8 hours a day. And they give me food sometimes, too, for my troubles. Boo hoo is right! But really, is this why I went to College?
I guess my thoughts about College are generally a little on the cynical side. See, I had a job with my own College. It took them 4 months to make me an offer from when I first submitted my resume. And in this time were several interviews, and other crap things to deal with. But I got a job in the end, and it was generally a good one.
Fast forward 5 months, and my boss sits me down and fires me. Gives me two weeks notice to finish up, but then I'm gone. She felt that I was doing such a poor job that my continued employment wasn't going to be worthwhile, for either party. Long story short, I was bummed, certainly, but in the end, I got a summer vacation (kind of) and collected unemployment. And, I got this new job which is better, at least in terms of what I want out of my life now.
Which isn't to say that I don't have frustrations from my old job. I think I tried to avoid being petty about it, and so I didn't communicate much in the way of my side. The only thing that I really said in my defense was that I didn't think I was doing such a poor job that my termination was required. My boss Linda just said that she felt otherwise (if she said that much, even). Sure, I wrote a letter, but I'm sure that that was trashed.
But it's not like there were even things that I was going to say that were petty. It's like, there's a different between being snide and petty and legitimately standing up for oneself. I was going to go no matter what, I had no interest in saving my job. But, I could have gone out a little bit better, maybe.
Armand gets frustrated - I think - whenever I metion this job, or how I might look up the old office website to see if they've replaced me yet (last I checked, my old job was still open). I can agree that that's just living in the past, and, I don't know, stuff. But maybe I never really had closure. Which sucks. To not have any closure. Then again, maybe having closure is too much to ask.
What I have to think about, too, is the fact that I have never, ever done a bad job with anything in life. No, that's not entirely true. But, in terms of jobs that I've held - never a bad job. Even when I was a camp counselor, I managed to pull it off and do great. One of the best counselor's at my camp for the two summers that I was there. Also, I went to a school that told us that we were the smartest people on the planet. The cat's pajama's, as it were, of young people today. I don't even know if cat's pajama's is a real term. But I'll pretend that it is.
So I go into this job thinking that of course I'd do well. And 5 months later, I hear otherwise. Otherwise to the point that I was fired. WTF?!? Maybe my boss was just being a dumb-ass herself (been known to happen, certainly), or, I don't even know what. But, still, I was told that I wasn't good enough. Which sucked, and continues to suck.
Now, I've always known that I have limits. Particularly, anything athetically minded has been down my ladder of Things Dan Can Do Well. So I've never expected to do well in sports, or anything sporting. But working? I rock work. My bosses have all loved me. Except this one, Linda. So, it was a shock to be told I wasn't good enough, when I that was the last thing i ever would have expected to hear.
As you can probably tell, even, I probably still am... I don't know. I still feel at odds with this. Without so much as a warning that my job performance was sufficiently poor to warrant my immediate termination, I was gone *from my own college that I spent four years busting my balls for*. Gee, thanks, and yes, I'll be sure to write out a check to you jack-asses.
but you know, whatever. A big fat fucking Whatever. To quote televisionwithoutpity, even, there's not enough Whatever in the world to describe how I feel about this old job.
In some ways, though, I find this particularly resonant since at my new job, I have a 90 day performance evaluation. If I don't do well enough, I'll get fired. I am thankful that my new job made that explicitly clear to me during orientation. Kudos, Jenner & Block. And while I don't think I ahve anything to really worry about, I thought the same about my last job. Yes, there are things to work on. There always are. I do have another 3 weeks, too, before I actually have the evaluation, so I have time to improve. While I'm not exactly attached to working at Jenner, I am attached to having a job, and so I just don't want to lose this one. No thank you.
So that's work. Mostly my old job, but I included something about my new one, too. I can go on about my new one. And... I will.
One thing I was looking forward to with my new job was that there would be a more enjoyable office environment. Whereas my last job had 4 people in the ofice, this one has over 500 or something. Plus, 70 of them are just like me - at least insofaras they're just out of school and In Between Things. So, yes, community. Let's all hang out. Meet new people. Yay.
Sadly, though, my own office is rather isolated from other people's. That makes it hard to hang out and shoot the shit. Yes, I can take trips to go visit other people, but it's like, I do have work to do, and I just go all over the damn office to meet people. What's more, and even more frustrating, there are some people with whom I've made friends, sort of, and I've hung out with them at my office happy hour, and here and there besides, and have generally made an effort to be friendly - but have they? No. No one has ever stopped by my damn office to say hi. Or whatever. And I have quite the big office. As well as a monstrous rubber band ball that will one day be considered "awe-inspiring".
Now, I know, I know - they're just as busy as I am (they're in fact more busy), and if I don't have time to visit, then they don't either. True. I know. But still, why can't they make a damn effort? Just because they get to be on a floor with some life to it... Yeah, so I complain. I get the job with the young people, but then it's just different enough to be dissapointing. Remember, I am never satisfied with anything - I must tweak, and edit and change constatnly.
So anyway, that's frustrating. Because I wanted more out of this job. And I know, the only thing I can do is just keep trying. There are plenty of people with whom to hang out and meet. Maybe they won't all be tools, even. Imagine that. But this is my blog, and I'm allowed to whine about it. So =P
Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is also my friend Kyle's house-warming party. That should be nice. Fun, even. I think we're also going to pick up booze this weekend for our Halloween party. The booze-run is always fun. But other than that... my weekend is a little bare. Which ends up being par for the course. I could do worse for myself, I admit, but I might be hard pressed to figure out how. If only I had a date to go see the We Ragazzi show (because, well, why not go see it?) after having gone to Tango Sur. God that's a good restaurant. Beef, just plain, red beef. Damn. I shouldn't say anything else for fear that I might explode with beef lust.
-dan
email me
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