Phew. Another week about to begin. You know what that means, more label-making. As I joke with my office mate frequently, yes, we went to college so that we could make labels. For folders. So that when we put papers - which we photocopied - into the folders, we'll know what papers they are. Thank god for our labels. I feel enfranchised at my office.
Last week was fun, though. My immediate boss was out of town, which meant I could cruise the web. And this past week, I had a mission: to find a halloween costume. Given the ample amount of time available to me, one would have hoped that I would be beginning this week with a firm idea, or even actual costume, in hand. Sadly, while I have a costume, sort of, already done, I just don't know if I want to go with it.
So, the background. As described below, my roommates and I are having a Halloween party. This will be my first real opportunity to have fun on Halloween, and dress up, and do all that crap. In years past, I haven't exactly been able to... enjoy Halloween. But not this year - I have friends who are willing, and a hunger to party. And that means I need a costume.
Fortunately, you are not my roommate(s), who have had to suffer through my banal detailings of my costume search. And so, I will go through with it now.
The first thing to mention is that the costume I'm going for is a real, store-bought costume. Something that I would have worn back from when I was 10, and still dressed up for Halloween. Is this the easy way to get a costume? For some, maybe. However, for me, no, as I put a lot of time, if not effort, into tracking down which store-bought costume I will buy, and from what store. While I could more easily - and arguably cheaply - go with a home-made type thing, ie. by rummaging through thrift stores or my own closet - I am attracted to the idea of getting a costume that makes me look like a 10 year old.
And to that end, I found one. It's a costume of Robin. As in Batman and Robin. You can see a picture of it here. This is from the 97 movie, which is why it's lacking the familiar red and green look of the 60's tv show. Now, the first thing I will admit about this, is that it's gay. Not homosexual-gay, just gay. 100% gay. G-A-Y. I think you get it. In other words, though, pretty goddamned stupid. Why would anyone want to wear this?
Well, I'll tell you. Precisely because it's stupid. Because it's ridiculous. If ever there's a time to look completely ridiculous, I say it's Halloween. And if you're throwing a party, and it's the first time you've really celebrated Halloween, then go to town. Stupid-looking-Robin-ville, in fact. I had emailed my friend Mike about this costume, where I was like, here's a costume, but it's gay. But so what? Why should I feel self-concious about wearing this costume? After all, I will admit to kind of liking it. Aside from any irony, or anything - I do like the way this costume looks, and it's only a big shame that it's associated with Robin. So yeah, I basically end up asking Mike if it's okay to be so gay during Halloween. Somewhere along the way, too, I brought up the idea of Metrosexuals. Which I mildly half-heartedly fear that I am. But I can go into that another day. Below is Mike's response, and is well worth a read:
[also, his reference to the other Robin costume relates to this one. Please note that the *male* model is sporting quite the obvious camel-toe. I don't know why]
i say go for the old school robin look. gay it might be, but it's also a laugh-riot.
i don't think its necessarily a question of sexuality parsay. The funny thing about the whole traditional-gender-roles-being-social-constructs-and-fuck-you-for-thinking-otherwise (part of the "liberal agenda" to "legitimize a sinful lifestlye") is that in their admission that gender roles are not "a priori," but are a product of maleable social forces, is that the same can be said about the homosexual gender constructs as well. It's only in reference to the traditional male image that the "metro-sexual" gets his ass-fucking behavior. Why it is that expensive tastes in snug fitting, sleek sweaters and the use of hair product ought to imply fagularity?
This is actually something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Like, i'm into this new band, Mars Volta. You may have heard of them. Pretty roacking stuff with heavy screaming guitars and lots of FX. The thing is, their lead singer screeches like a wee banshee, and I love it. We're talking move over Robert Plant and Geddy Lee, this guy wails! Now, the music is very active, very powerful, yet a bit sensual. Does that make it girly music? Not at all! ACDC has a high-voiced lead singer, and noone will doubt the masuclinity of that band. Afterall, they've got the biggest balls of them all. Concider Gun's 'n' Roses; they even looked like chicks, but they were totally masculine. How can this be?
I think the true key to understanding American sexuality --and perhaps most of the western concept of sexual identity-- is looking at the "danger" factor. I would say that more than anything else, a willingness to confront danger, or to engage in violent activity in a rational and confident manner, is the real underlying characteristic of "manliness." The abiliity to assert and defend one's Independence, which to most people means a willingness to fight, and kill if necessary. Not that women can't be confront danger, but when they're doing so, they are being butch. On the other side, thats why some men can get away with feminine fashions, or any fashion at all. Because they're dangerous and will fuck you up, but also protect their kind. Which Batman totally does. Not so much Robin, tho. In alot of ways I think homosexuality is tied to lack of maturity. I think it goes back to the Greek ass-fucking-of-little-boys times. Thats why Robin, who may be brave, but certainly can't do shit without Batman, is seen as such a prick-tickler. Whereas Batman, who may be the active sodomite in the partnership, is still no less of a man.
And that, my Friend, brings me to the Metrosexual. Being city bound, the metrosexual is entirly dependent on the city, and on the fab boutiques, and the service and entertainment industrys. No way a queer could catch his own food, or fight off the bad guys when they come to town. Such a dependence is fitting of women, whom you can fuck, but not of men, who ought to be earning their keep. There seems to be a slight exception with Black and Hispanics. They can get away with more skittishness and style, because they are inherently foriegn, i.e. scary.
the point i'm trying to make, dan, is you're only gay if you're afraid to kill things. like vegetarinans. thats TOTALLY GAY. Therefore, dress up like Robin, go nuts with the makeup and nailpolish. Apply as much product as you need, but be sure to eat lots of meat while doing so. Red meat. Rare. Bloody. Like a freshly torn anus. I meant Agnus. The lead singer of ACDC. Shit, i've done it again.
The Very Reverend Michael
Squeeebass@hotmail.com
Note that I left his address on there. Ladies, he's single!
So how do I proceed? Do I just say fuck it, and go with the gay-ass Robin costume (either one, really)? I went to a costume store to get a first-hand look at the costume. Sadly, they didn't have one in-stock for me to look at, so I wasn't able to do anything.
While I was there, though, I got another idea - The Phantom of South Woodlawn. My street is S. Woodlawn Ave., keep that in mind. And I live in an area that some would call... ghetto. So, bearing that in mind, this would be my idea. Take the tuxedo, opera cape, half-mask familiar to the Phantom of the Opera, but then make myself look homeless - torn pants, stains, etc. (I refuse to give myself that fecal odor that many homeless seem to sport). And I thought, yes, this could be fun - it'd be like I haunt our own apartment. And I so I buy a thrift store pair of tux pants, a white vest, a cape, half-mask and gloves from a costume store and set about to keep thinking about how to realize the idea of The Phantom of South Woodlawn. Incidentally, that sounds like a Hardy Boys book.
But then I'm thinking, and it's like, no, no, I don't know. I don't know about the Phantom of South Woodlawn. Maybe I should just go with the gay Robin, and be done with it. I am okay with that. I like the costume. It costs as much as the Phantom of South Woodlawn idea (though I'd return the cape, and keep the rest for my own set of formal wear). My point is, now, at just about 11:00 PM on Sunday night, what do I do? 'Cause if I'm going for Robin, I had better act fast. A lot of stores are already sold out.
And in the end, I'll be wearing it at a party where I'll be drinking a lot. Not to the point where I'll black out (again), but enough not to get caught up in what costume I'm wearing. And the only person who will ever give a shit is me, so, really, fuck everyone else. I'll just make sure to eat lots of red meat and get in a couple of fist fights along the way.
- dan
Last week was fun, though. My immediate boss was out of town, which meant I could cruise the web. And this past week, I had a mission: to find a halloween costume. Given the ample amount of time available to me, one would have hoped that I would be beginning this week with a firm idea, or even actual costume, in hand. Sadly, while I have a costume, sort of, already done, I just don't know if I want to go with it.
So, the background. As described below, my roommates and I are having a Halloween party. This will be my first real opportunity to have fun on Halloween, and dress up, and do all that crap. In years past, I haven't exactly been able to... enjoy Halloween. But not this year - I have friends who are willing, and a hunger to party. And that means I need a costume.
Fortunately, you are not my roommate(s), who have had to suffer through my banal detailings of my costume search. And so, I will go through with it now.
The first thing to mention is that the costume I'm going for is a real, store-bought costume. Something that I would have worn back from when I was 10, and still dressed up for Halloween. Is this the easy way to get a costume? For some, maybe. However, for me, no, as I put a lot of time, if not effort, into tracking down which store-bought costume I will buy, and from what store. While I could more easily - and arguably cheaply - go with a home-made type thing, ie. by rummaging through thrift stores or my own closet - I am attracted to the idea of getting a costume that makes me look like a 10 year old.
And to that end, I found one. It's a costume of Robin. As in Batman and Robin. You can see a picture of it here. This is from the 97 movie, which is why it's lacking the familiar red and green look of the 60's tv show. Now, the first thing I will admit about this, is that it's gay. Not homosexual-gay, just gay. 100% gay. G-A-Y. I think you get it. In other words, though, pretty goddamned stupid. Why would anyone want to wear this?
Well, I'll tell you. Precisely because it's stupid. Because it's ridiculous. If ever there's a time to look completely ridiculous, I say it's Halloween. And if you're throwing a party, and it's the first time you've really celebrated Halloween, then go to town. Stupid-looking-Robin-ville, in fact. I had emailed my friend Mike about this costume, where I was like, here's a costume, but it's gay. But so what? Why should I feel self-concious about wearing this costume? After all, I will admit to kind of liking it. Aside from any irony, or anything - I do like the way this costume looks, and it's only a big shame that it's associated with Robin. So yeah, I basically end up asking Mike if it's okay to be so gay during Halloween. Somewhere along the way, too, I brought up the idea of Metrosexuals. Which I mildly half-heartedly fear that I am. But I can go into that another day. Below is Mike's response, and is well worth a read:
[also, his reference to the other Robin costume relates to this one. Please note that the *male* model is sporting quite the obvious camel-toe. I don't know why]
i say go for the old school robin look. gay it might be, but it's also a laugh-riot.
i don't think its necessarily a question of sexuality parsay. The funny thing about the whole traditional-gender-roles-being-social-constructs-and-fuck-you-for-thinking-otherwise (part of the "liberal agenda" to "legitimize a sinful lifestlye") is that in their admission that gender roles are not "a priori," but are a product of maleable social forces, is that the same can be said about the homosexual gender constructs as well. It's only in reference to the traditional male image that the "metro-sexual" gets his ass-fucking behavior. Why it is that expensive tastes in snug fitting, sleek sweaters and the use of hair product ought to imply fagularity?
This is actually something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Like, i'm into this new band, Mars Volta. You may have heard of them. Pretty roacking stuff with heavy screaming guitars and lots of FX. The thing is, their lead singer screeches like a wee banshee, and I love it. We're talking move over Robert Plant and Geddy Lee, this guy wails! Now, the music is very active, very powerful, yet a bit sensual. Does that make it girly music? Not at all! ACDC has a high-voiced lead singer, and noone will doubt the masuclinity of that band. Afterall, they've got the biggest balls of them all. Concider Gun's 'n' Roses; they even looked like chicks, but they were totally masculine. How can this be?
I think the true key to understanding American sexuality --and perhaps most of the western concept of sexual identity-- is looking at the "danger" factor. I would say that more than anything else, a willingness to confront danger, or to engage in violent activity in a rational and confident manner, is the real underlying characteristic of "manliness." The abiliity to assert and defend one's Independence, which to most people means a willingness to fight, and kill if necessary. Not that women can't be confront danger, but when they're doing so, they are being butch. On the other side, thats why some men can get away with feminine fashions, or any fashion at all. Because they're dangerous and will fuck you up, but also protect their kind. Which Batman totally does. Not so much Robin, tho. In alot of ways I think homosexuality is tied to lack of maturity. I think it goes back to the Greek ass-fucking-of-little-boys times. Thats why Robin, who may be brave, but certainly can't do shit without Batman, is seen as such a prick-tickler. Whereas Batman, who may be the active sodomite in the partnership, is still no less of a man.
And that, my Friend, brings me to the Metrosexual. Being city bound, the metrosexual is entirly dependent on the city, and on the fab boutiques, and the service and entertainment industrys. No way a queer could catch his own food, or fight off the bad guys when they come to town. Such a dependence is fitting of women, whom you can fuck, but not of men, who ought to be earning their keep. There seems to be a slight exception with Black and Hispanics. They can get away with more skittishness and style, because they are inherently foriegn, i.e. scary.
the point i'm trying to make, dan, is you're only gay if you're afraid to kill things. like vegetarinans. thats TOTALLY GAY. Therefore, dress up like Robin, go nuts with the makeup and nailpolish. Apply as much product as you need, but be sure to eat lots of meat while doing so. Red meat. Rare. Bloody. Like a freshly torn anus. I meant Agnus. The lead singer of ACDC. Shit, i've done it again.
The Very Reverend Michael
Squeeebass@hotmail.com
Note that I left his address on there. Ladies, he's single!
So how do I proceed? Do I just say fuck it, and go with the gay-ass Robin costume (either one, really)? I went to a costume store to get a first-hand look at the costume. Sadly, they didn't have one in-stock for me to look at, so I wasn't able to do anything.
While I was there, though, I got another idea - The Phantom of South Woodlawn. My street is S. Woodlawn Ave., keep that in mind. And I live in an area that some would call... ghetto. So, bearing that in mind, this would be my idea. Take the tuxedo, opera cape, half-mask familiar to the Phantom of the Opera, but then make myself look homeless - torn pants, stains, etc. (I refuse to give myself that fecal odor that many homeless seem to sport). And I thought, yes, this could be fun - it'd be like I haunt our own apartment. And I so I buy a thrift store pair of tux pants, a white vest, a cape, half-mask and gloves from a costume store and set about to keep thinking about how to realize the idea of The Phantom of South Woodlawn. Incidentally, that sounds like a Hardy Boys book.
But then I'm thinking, and it's like, no, no, I don't know. I don't know about the Phantom of South Woodlawn. Maybe I should just go with the gay Robin, and be done with it. I am okay with that. I like the costume. It costs as much as the Phantom of South Woodlawn idea (though I'd return the cape, and keep the rest for my own set of formal wear). My point is, now, at just about 11:00 PM on Sunday night, what do I do? 'Cause if I'm going for Robin, I had better act fast. A lot of stores are already sold out.
And in the end, I'll be wearing it at a party where I'll be drinking a lot. Not to the point where I'll black out (again), but enough not to get caught up in what costume I'm wearing. And the only person who will ever give a shit is me, so, really, fuck everyone else. I'll just make sure to eat lots of red meat and get in a couple of fist fights along the way.
- dan
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